A Fathers Anguish

As a father of three the one thing I could not imagine happened early this morning. That was to watch my seventeen year old son taken away in a police car ,because my son had taken the car once again. This time I had no choice but to report the car stolen.

It began at 1:45 am my wife woke me and informed that JD was gone and so was the car. At that point we had gone thur a theft of his sister's debit card and money, suspension from school a consent lair and thief and yet on the outside to those that know the family he is a good kid. As parents we have provided there needs to the best of our ability ,going without so they could have.

So as a parent with two of three teenagers doing well and the middle child doing a Dr.Jeckle Mr.Hyde
number makes me wonder if there is anything to that middle child talk. Being the eldest of seven we all where different and turned out well, and none of us would have done the things my middle son has done. I feel as a person as a parent my wife and I have done the best for our children, in providing for all the needs to grow into responsible adults so where did we go wrong or did we ?

I recall my mother saying that she was sorry for us having to raise a child in this day and age that it would be more difficult time then she had raising seven that was in 1989 when she told me this ,my wife was pregnant with our middle child. She passed away not getting to meet her grandchildren but with out a doubt had a prayer in her heart for each one.

So why did JD become the black sheep of the family? He has said we care to much, and yes we do we have had a policy of we will know who what when where and how when it came to going or doing something. He has said that it was revenge against me for being abusive to him when he was nine , so you don't get the wrong idea this is what I recall happened a hot summer day mowing the grass JD had gotten in trouble earlier and was told to stay in the house. While I was mowing the the yard I looked up to see him and his younger brother with their bikes coming around the side of the house. Yelling at him what the hell was he doing he put his hand on his hip pulled the sunglasses he was wearing down on his nose and yelled back what. Coming up to where he was at I repeated myself and was told I had to put my bike up with a tone that set me off I slapped him he feel to the ground screaming I grabbed him by his shirt and slapped him again and struck him on the side of his head. Sent him to the house with a threat not to come out again. Finishing the yard I went in seeing him my heart sank for he is easy to bruise and for that incident less than minute I never have touched any of my children in anger. JD recalls that he did nothing to provoke me to strike him. I have remorse and believe that I have been forgiven
for this.

Yet as I write this my heart is heavy not with shame or guilt but sadness because JD is sitting in detention due to his actions, he is one that wants what he wants regardless of of who he may hurt in the process, he has told his mother and I that he knows if he asks the answer would be no and the more we tell him no the more determined he is to do. A young man who is bright that wants to do what ever he wants when he wants without having our trust or a sense of responsibility to us or himself. The part of this that really gets to me is in all that he has done, the fault lies at someone's feet other than his own. Or lip service is given I'm sorry has been heard so many times without meaning or understanding a boy who has no idea of what the world holds for those that think they have all the answers. I know that are situation is not unusual nor will it end without a wake up call of those that think the way JD does.

I remember hearing of others having problems with there children and waking away saying a pray for there peace of mind and being thankful that mine were good little did I know I would be praying for my own peace of mind because of my sons action. So we are all in this web together if you are going thur times of hardship with your child you are not alone my prayers are with you. We wake up each day with a prayer that soon rather than later he will see the light and all will be well. Please post a comment if you like
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